Down with the Sickness, a.k.a. Illin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

[Music] Fountains of Wayne - Hayley's Waitress

As per the title, I am a bit ill. Functionallly ill, though it may be. To look at me, you would think I was fine, but once I begin to speak, that is when it makes itself known. I'm pretty sure it's just an allergy/chest cold kind of thing, manifesting itself as coughing, itchy throat and making my voice sway between sounding like Barry White or a frog. Sometimes, it's a bit smoky, kinda sultry. One of the ladies at work even described it as "kinda sexy." Other times, I just sound like I've got the consumption, maybe that old whooping cough. I was hoping that it would sort itself out over the course of the week, but that hasn't happened. If I end up in a NyQuil coma for more than a couple of days, would somebody mind calling 911? Much obliged.